Message from Yeshua - 03-27-201
Forgiveness - Part 2
Question: What are some effective ways to begin the forgiveness process?
Forgiveness is exactly that - a process. For most people, it takes time and practice to achieve a certain level of forgiveness. Old hurts and wounds remain unhealed until they are completely released.
The first thing we would encourage you to do is to focus on yourself and not on the forgiveness of others. You are the one who is hurting so you are one who needs relief.
The process of effective forgiveness will vary depending upon the depth and degree of hurt felt. It is also influenced by the mechanism in which people learn. Since forgiveness is really a learning process it is helpful to know how your primary mode of learning can facilitate forgiveness.
Please know the processes we are about to explain are not necessary to achieve forgiveness. Forgiveness can be achieved very simply for some people. For others, it may take decades using countless methods focusing on forgiveness. The difference lies in the willingness to truly forgive.
Let us begin with an explanation of how people learn. There are three primary ways in which people learn – visually, auditorily or kinesthetically. The visual learner needs to “see” results; they need to be “shown” how to do things.
The auditory learner needs to “hear” about something. They are often the ones who repeatedly tell the story of their transgressions. Story telling is a means for them to process feelings out loud. Verbal processing tends to work best for them.
The kinesthetic person is a “sensitive.” S/he needs to “feel” into a situation. They need to “sense” how a different outcome would play out. Feeling or sensation is very important in their learning process.
It’s important to know that everyone uses all three forms of learning but that most people tend be more comfortable with one mode than the others.
For the auditory person, forgiveness can be a great challenge as they would like to hear the other person say they are sorry. They also would like the transgressor to hear how they felt about what transpired between them. Auditory people are generally more susceptible to insults and verbal injuries because their finely honed sense of hearing picks up such comments with ease. They are also likely to take what they hear out of context because their sense of hearing and their emotions are so closely linked.
The auditory learner needs to listen to himself out loud. They can also benefit from working with an impartial friend who can be a sounding board for their concerns and grievances. The auditory learner needs to clearly vocalize what has been said or done to cause them pain. S/he then needs to explain how it made them feel and would prefer to inform the transgressor how their actions impacted his or her life.
Once the air has been cleared, the impartial friend can ask follow-up questions to probe deeper into the situation. Questions such as “Do you really think s/he meant to hurt you?” or “Are you sure you didn’t take the comment out of context?”
Another effective way for the auditory person to process the hurt is through a proxy process where the impartial friend would take on the role of the transgressor and offer to do some role playing. This process can be facilitated by asking for assistance from the higher self of the transgressor. By doing so, you may be able to gain additional insight on what transpired or at least be able to see the situation from a different perspective.
After all the verbal processing and role playing feels complete, the impartial friend should help the person finish the forgiveness process by asking “How has holding onto this pain benefited you?”
The forgiver will likely to be triggered by this question so allow them time to deeply ponder this question. There is always some benefit to hanging onto an issue or emotion for any period of time to get the full benefit of the lesson. It’s often helpful to identify it.
After they have honestly answered that question, ask them “Are you willing to let the negative energies of this situation go now?” If the answer is “Yes”, then the forgiver may want to offer a concluding remark such as “I now turn over to the Holy Spirit (Higher Self, God or the Angels) all the energies, thoughts and emotions related to the situation/issue involving ________ to be transmuted into unconditional love for myself and all involved.”
Even after working with this forgiveness process, there may still be some unresolved emotions or thoughts that pop up from time to time. We would encourage you to repeatedly use the statement above to turn over those energies or emotions to your higher self for transmutation. We think you’ll be very surprised at how effective this simple technique is of providing additional relief.
The visual learner is best served by a different forgiveness process. To them, “seeing is believing.” They would prefer to see the expressions on the face of the transgressor as they share their concerns together. Often this is not practical. Most people tend to shy away from confrontation or may not feel responsible for the other person’s hurt. In either case, the visual person would benefit from a forgiveness meditation involving the other person.
One way to do this is to get clear and quiet; essentially get into a meditative mindset. Once the mind quiets, they can call in the Higher Self of the transgressor for a talk. They should visualize the person sitting calmly in front of them. If the person is uncomfortable with being in the “physical presence” of the transgressor, they can call in their guardian angels or other Spirit helper to help them feel safe in that person’s presence.
The goal of this visualization is to allow the forgiver to relay information on what s/he observed to be a transgression. They should allow themselves to ask the other persons higher self all the questions they would like answers to. Feel free to take as much time as needed to ask all the questions that need answers. Once the forgiver receives the answers they seeking, they are likely to literally “lighten up” and feel better about the situation.
It is important for the forgiver to stay calm and centered in this process. Otherwise, emotions could be triggered and cloud the situation thus obscuring the information they are seeking. Once the process is complete, we would encourage the forgiver to answer the following questions: “What benefit have I received by holding onto these thoughts or feelings about _____?” “Am I now willing to let the energies of this situation go?”
We also feel the concluding remark from the auditory learner’s process would be of value. “I now turn over to the Holy Spirit (Higher Self, God or the Angels) all the energies, thoughts and emotions related to the situation/issue involving ________ to be transmuted into unconditional love for myself and all involved.”
For the kinesthetic learner seeking forgiveness, the emphasis is on “feeling” connected to the other person. While a physical connection would be preferred, it is not really necessary to have a positive experience with forgiveness. What is important is for the forgiver to “feel” the transgressor understands their point of view.
The kinesthetic person is a very sensitive person overall. They tend to have strong intuitive responses to situations – “gut feelings” and generally have an “inner knowing” about the authenticity or integrity of the people they encounter. The offended kinesthetic person will often seek forgiveness using an external means that may not be for their highest good. Once emotionally wounded, a kinesthetic person may become hypersensitive to triggering and look to a physical outlet for an energetic release of their emotional energies. They may engage in physical activities such as sports to release the pain. Others may partake of various substances or drugs to dull the pain or avoid the forgiveness process entirely. What they can’t feel, they can’t heal.
When a kinesthetic person is ready to work on forgiveness, they can readily benefit from any number of energy healing modalities which can release stagnant energies or emotions. Most forms of healing involving touch would be beneficial.
Anyone involved in the forgiveness process can benefit from honestly answering the questions: “What benefit have I received by holding onto these thoughts or feelings about _____?” “Am I now willing to let the energies of this situation go?” In other words, what is the overall lesson in this shared experience.
Similarly, the concluding remark offered above is of value to all seeking forgiveness: “I now turn over to the Holy Spirit (Higher Self, God or the Angels) all the energies, thoughts and emotions related to the situation/issue involving ________ to be transmuted into unconditional love for myself and all involved.”
The goal of any forgiveness process is to simply release the emotional charge of the offending event. The actual process can be as simple or complex as you need it to be. For lesser offenses or minor grievances, the forgiver could simply whole-heartedly think or say “I now forgive myself for the role I played in this situation and now release this issue with love” and the process could be complete.
Those with deeper wounding or greater attachments to the wound, may need a more involved forgiveness process similar to those discussed above. Regardless of the method chosen, the important point is to simply let go of the judgment and the pain surrounding the issue and come to a place of peace within yourself. Once you do that, you are free.
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